Month: November 2023

Roller Coaster

Teaching Moments, blog

I get to teach my children about roller coasters and how they are built and what goes into them.  I love science, I love watching, learning and teaching about science, because it doesn’t fit inside of a box, it literally runs all over the place if you don’t watch out!

Life is much like a roller coaster.  It was my dream to build a coaster called, “The Wave”.  I wanted to make it large enough for people to stand on what looked like a surf board and go high up then straight down in a matter of micro-seconds only to blow past a thing of water and into a dark tunnel.  Then I wanted pictures illuminating off the walls that would be steps of life, as the coaster continued to slide to the right, left, up and down.  At the end would be a large ‘wave’ where the riders would veer off to the right, the left then ride one more huge wave before slowing down and getting to the end.  It would be awesome! Unfortunately, God didn’t give me the ability to create one, but I still dream about it!  Even though they scared me, I loved riding them.  Even when I wasn’t supposed to, I had fun.  Then, one day, I went to ride a super big one and I couldn’t get my head to lift up while we were going around the circle and going upside down.  That was 6 years ago and I have not been on another one since.  I wish I could!  Such is life.

I realize, as I’m reading through my lessons to my children that I go through a roller coaster every day.  Each day I wake up gravity keeps me down on earth.  My head spins every day and with one leg I’m often feeling my roller coaster legs.  It is not always a bad thing, sometimes I try and imagine I’m on a coaster!  Imagine it!  You are the builder of your own coaster.  You are in charge of what kind of energy you are going to have today, to get yourself, your vehicle (or whatever you use) to get from point A to point B.  There are going to be many ups and downs in your day to day lives and some days you may have some really steep hills and some fast straight down drops.  Instead of thinking how terrible it is, think instead that you are on the Roller Coaster of Life.  How will it end for you?  Will you just keep going down, or will you try and get back up, level off a bit, enjoy the waves.  It isn’t easy, but, making roller coasters aren’t either.  Some people may not be able to complete the ride, but remember, with God, all things are possible even the Roller Coaster of Life.  

Trust, even when it feels all is lost

blog

Once I had to learn how to move my right leg and my right arm, I was told that I needed to keep going.  

I trusted God. He told me He would help me back up and it was beginning to be uncovered that getting back up, was not going to be as easy as my last surgery.  Something was much different, but I needed to remember to keep my faith strong in God.  It is never easy to have faith when life isn’t easy.  Some people find it easier to have faith in God when things are in chaos; but, for me it is easier to trust in the little things and much harder to trust in the harder things, such as getting myself back on top of my mountain range.

Every day that I was in the hospital I would throw up.  Each time someone would touch me, any time I would move or was moved, or anytime they would give me any medication, I would throw up.  It made it even more difficult to eat, to do physical therapy or to just to get better.  I started off at 247lbs the day I walked into the hospital and by the time they figured out what was going on I weighed 170.  At the end of July they realized that my brain scans were showing hydrocephalus on both sides of my brain.  That simply means that my brain was filled up with fluid and my body wasn’t using the fluid for other organs, it was simply building up in the wrong places.  About 5-6 times a day,  nurses would come running to change me out of my clothes and bedding and give me another bath.  

One day I was so mad.  I couldn’t understand why the doctors didn’t know what else to do each time they would come to me after I had lost another 20lbs.  Then there was a nurse who sat with me one night.  It was the end of her shift, my family had left and the nurses had cleaned me up, again.  I was questioning the doctors, God, and anyone else that should know something.  The nurse gave me some medicine to help the dizziness calm down so I could sleep.  As I was trying not to move she told me, “Ms. Christina, don’t be mad at the doctors and nurses each time they don’t know what to do with you.  Be happy and be blessed.  When you had your surgery you had to have a 2nd brain surgery because you had a brain bleed.  We were called from the OR and told that they were going to need us to clean an ICU room for you to go.  None of us spoke while we cleaned.  We all know too well, that many times people that have brain bleeds don’t make it to surgery, and if they do, they won’t make it out.  We weren’t sure that you would make it.  Even your doctor wasn’t sure, he just told the nursing staff to get the room ready and the next 24 hours were crucial.  Someone wanted you to survive and He is in control of your life.  Neither we nor the other doctors have had many people survive one brain bleed and you had two.  Once you made it out of surgery, we all knew we had to wait.  Most likely, your family was told that you may not survive the night.  Then, you did and each day the doctors and the nurses don’t want to get their hopes up.  Something is different about you, He has you alive for a purpose.  We don’t know what to do next, because rarely do people survive.  So don’t be angry, feel blessed knowing that He has kept you alive. “

On July 14, 2021 I had my last brain surgery.  I remember falling asleep, telling my nurse not to let them take my eyes.  Several hours later, when I woke up, I realized right away, that I could feel my right arm but still not my right leg.  I was thankful that God had allowed me to survive and I needed to be thankful for all my blessings, even letting me live and learn how to live.  I needed to learn to trust, even when it all felt lost.  It wasn’t easy, I had to relearn how to do so many things to reteach my brain, but with God on my side, I can be thankful for each new day, no matter how dim it looks!