Author: mygodcan.blog

Every Part of You…

I am teaching 2nd grade this year and today was the first day of school. I love to tell my kids that they are awesome, amazing, unique and they can if they try.  We discussed the big word ,’affirmation’ and we took each word and put a definition to it.  The hardest word for them to understand was ‘unique’.  If you stand two children side by side, identical twins, they may look alike, but they are very different.  Each of them have different goals in life, one is quiet and the other is loud.  The one in my class doesn’t stay still but I was told the other one won’t move.  They are both unique, both are inspired by something that only talks to them.  Just like you.  You are unique!  You are not alike ANYONE else in the world.  Even our fingerprints are different even thought they may have some of the DNA captions from our family, they are different.  I go to different eye doctors because I have a weak eye (that closes when it gets tired).  My other eye can’t see close up without help.  My seeing eye doctor will stare into my eyes for a long time because my eyes are unique.  Instead of being a normal black pupil with a color and then white, mine are are in a group all of  their own.  I have the black pupil in the center then it changes.  I have hazel eyes then it is surrounded by gold spots.  Given the time of day these gold spots will appear to be falling around my eye.  Other times the gold will appear as if someone took a gold marker and outlined the inside and outside with it.  I always assumed it was normal, after all, I don’t really stare at my eyes in a mirror.  My doctor will tell you that it is a very different occurrence compared to everyone else’ eyes.  

That isn’t all.  My organs are different. While most people’s organs are located in the middle to the left of your body, my major ones are located to the left while my minor ones are on the right.  It makes it for an interesting conversation when I have scans done!  

The question I’d love to ask God is why did I have to be so much different.  I can honestly say that I am unique!  But, you don’t have to have different body parts you are just unique because you are you, no one else.  

It says in 1 Timothy 4: 4, ‘For every creation of God is good, and nothing that is received with thanksgiving should be rejected because it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.’  You are God’s creation and no matter who you are, you are good.  Being unique is a great thing!  We stand up in class and show each other how unique we are.  Go, show the world how awesome that God made you unique and it is good!

Doesn’t always Go Our Way

Chad and I prayed often about the upcoming surgery.  At first I was excited and I was sure that I would go in, have the surgery, be fine and ready to go back to school a few months later.  As time grew closer both of us began feeling like God had other plans.  I was nervous to start off with, but, I was given a sense of peace as time grew closer to the date.  I decided there were things I needed to do just in case I didn’t survive.  I know that God told us that He would take care of this and I would be back on my mountain, but once again He never said if I would do that on Earth or in Heaven.  Now, I had other people to worry about; my husband, my daughters, my friends, and my sister (she was adopted when she was young I didn’t meet her till I was 23).    I wanted them all to remember that God was in control if I lived or died and He loved all of them very much.  I prayed with my SM, with my friends, and with my husband.  We prayed for me, for my family, and that God would show us how to handle the results.  Chad would later tell me he didn’t think I would die, but he felt that something was going to happen and change our lives forever.  The headaches began getting worse but I was holding class 4 days a week and really struggling  but, I felt that I needed to be with my kids until the end of class.  I didn’t tell my parents what was going on, or that I may not be back I just let it be.  I did talk to my principal to find out what I needed to do just in case I couldn’t come back in August.  I made plans to have my three best friends come to stay with my daughters while I was having surgery.  The girls have grown up with the idea that the ‘Aunts’ were the ones to reckon with, to talk to, and to confide  in.  My girls were always excited to see each of them separately or all together so I decided this would be the best plan so that the ‘Aunts’ could know what was going on and my children would have support if something didn’t go as plan.

June 28, 2021 came early.  As we walked into the hospital there was no AC.  It was hot and even hotter with the masks on.  We found checked in and found the waiting room and waited and prayed.  The hot air caused the floors to be wet from sweat and the nurses told us that they had to put large fans in the surgery rooms to help cool down the room and dry up the sweaty floors.  Our 8am surgeries wouldn’t start for another 1/2 hour.  As time went on we noticed people’s names were disappearing from the tv screens on the wall.  The nurse came back out and told all of us that the rooms were almost cooled down enough, but because the AC was out they had to cancel the rest of the surgeries for the day.  In a few moments she came out again to get me. I told Chad, “May the Lord bless you and keep you..” Then he replied, “May His face shine upon you.” Then, I went with the nurse as she asked me questions and started giving me medicine to calm me down.  I told her I wanted to give Chad a kiss before surgery, she told me he would be in shortly.  I remember nothing else.   

Nothing worked the way anyone thought it would.  In the first surgery they realized that even after all the scans and tests the titanium plate was mesh now held in place by titantium nails in my cerebellum.  During surgery, I would have brain bleeding from the nails being removed.  They completed the surgery. Before they began to wake me up they discovered that my brain was hemorrhaging and since the doctor didn’t have any more surgeries, they went in for the 2nd time to find out what was going on.  The nurses were called at this time to get my room ready and told what was going on.  The nurses would later tell me that it was uncertain if I would survive this surgery or the night.  The doctor found out that another part of my brain was bleeding and as soon as he discovered it, he was able to get it to stop.   I wasn’t out of the woods yet, most people don’t survive brain bleeds, and I actually made it through surgery so no one was sure if  I would make it through the night.  I remember nothing.  My family said I did wake up and I was answering questions.  The first day I remember was July 4, 2021.  I questioned if I would hear fireworks.  I don’t remember many more days.  The first thing I noticed was that I couldn’t move my right arm very easily, nor could I fully feel it.  I also noticed that I couldn’t feel my right leg nor could I move it.  The doctors came in and told me that there was much for me to learn how to do and the first thing was to teach me how to move my leg and walk.    My first thought was: “WAIT, WHAT?”