After the doctors came to me and told me they were sending someone in to help me move my leg and get it up to walk, I honestly thought they were stupid! I couldn’t feel my leg, I didn’t even know if it was moving or not. I certainly couldn’t move it on my own nor could I walk on it. I remember the first day a lady came in and said, “Ok, this is the day you will remember, I am going to teach you how to move your leg!” I remember starring at her and she said, “yes, it sounds strange, but we think it is possible.” That’s a good thing because I didn’t think it was possible. She went on to tell me that my right arm was just weak and even though I couldn’t fully feel it or move it, it would catch up and eventually gain back the strength that was lost. However, my right leg appeared to have nerves that seemed to be burnt off at the end. It seemed as if in time my nerves would eventually grow back just like a lizard’s tail, but in the meantime I needed to learn how to move it and walk on it so that when that did happen I would be ready. At that time they called it my dead leg. She picked up my leg and told me, try to just think about this leg, try to move it out of my hand. Don’t think about anything else but your leg. At first, it just dropped back onto the bed. Then, I felt pain in my upper hip and I realized that that is what I needed to focus on. It is odd when you know your leg is there, because you see it, but you can’t feel it. She came back every day and each day they added a new therapist for something new. I had a therapist to help me stand, this lady help me figure out how to move my leg. I had one to help my arm move and do things, I had another one to help me re-think and speak. The two hardest things were learning to tell time and moving my leg. Finally, I was able to move my leg and as soon as I did, I had was asked to focus on that movement while they helped me stand again. Orginially I was learning to stand with one leg, now, I needed to stand knowing I have two legs and placing my body weight on both legs. Try standing like a flamingo for many moments and trying to balance on that one leg, you will see how easy it is not. After several days, I was finally able to shift my left leg forward, relying on a walker, then pull my right leg to my side. Each day I would have therapy, I would pray so hard, “God, I don’t think I can do this! They think I can, my husband thinks I can, but I don’t have faith in my body. I only have faith in You. If You think I can, please oh please show me how!” As time went on, I would eventually be able to move my left leg then my right. I can bend both legs and I can stand without help on both legs. God is awesome! Even though I know this, I still have to be reminded over and over again. I have learned to not take for granted anything in this life, but to believe that God has me going through all of this to show off His skill and workmanship. Each day is different. Walking was difficult, but I can see how far I have come in two years. As of two months ago, they discovered that my nerves are back, now they appear to be asleep so they refer my leg as a ‘sleeping leg’.
God told me I would eventually get back onto my mountain, but getting back on top was not going to be as easy as just walking up the side through different ordeals in life. It has become learning how to rely on my family, friends, and God to get back up and keep on going, even when I feel like all is lost and my nerves are dead.